I need you guys to level with me. Please tell me I'm not the only person who wasn't invited to the Royal Wedding? If I was, I'm going to be really hurt.

Seriously though, level with me. You have those days when you just don't want to a) wake up b) get dressed c) talk to anyone d) get dressed, right? Yeah. Me too. But today I forced myself to. And I thought that I'd share my winning process here with you guys.

1. Woke up feeling like P. Diddy. Brushed teeth with regular toothpaste, not bottle of Jack though. Asked Bryan 20x if it's Saturday. Refused to believe him the first 19 times, then got out of bed.
2. Assessed the damage of my hair from sleeping, then realized a shower is the only route.
3. Rummaged through the pile of unhung clothes that have crawled up and died in the bottom of my closet.
4. Remembered that I like skinny jeans, so I dug them out of said pile.
5. Added a shirt and a scarf, for good measure. Also, my neck might get cold in this 80 degree weather. Added necklace, took it off. Added bracelet, took it off. Put it back on. Repeat.
6. Stared at husband until he realized he needs to compliment my outfit.
7. Compliment received, process complete.

Now all of my secrets are out. All of them, even the one where I sucked my thumb till I was 12.

I try to keep things pretty honest around here (and by 'pretty honest', I mean half truth and half lies). So I've got to be transparent with you all. This is not a skirt; no, these are culottes. (Or 'knee-breeches' according to Wikipedia.) Yes -- the shorts that wish they were a skirt. Half skirt, half shorts. Culottes: the pride of the 80's. Not a girl, not yet a woman. (Wait...that's an old Britney Spears song, how did that end up here?)

I wore these babies out on our date night last night and I don't know if the town was ready for this jelly. Just kidding, no one pays attention to me. I'm going to need something a lot more flashy than swingy shorts and red heels. I'm going to need a perm-mullet and some camo. Then I'll turn some heads.

Olive Juice

That's right. My post title is code for "I love you." Or "I love shoes." Whatever your preference.
I highly recommend this dress if you have $24, a smidgen of good taste and some common sense. Target is getting good with their Anthropologie knock-offs. I swear I tried on a similar dress at Anthropologie a few months back and then walked away from it as it was over my budget. Next thing you know I'm trying on this dress at Target and saving $400. Okay the Anthropologie dress wasn't really $400, but it makes my story so much better. So pretend with me, okay?

Coral Crush